Why You Shouldn’t Take Criticism from Those You Wouldn’t Seek Advice From

Criticism is an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s constructive feedback or outright negativity, we all encounter it at some point. While constructive criticism can be valuable for personal and professional growth, not all critiques are created equal. One crucial aspect is often overlooked — the source of the criticism.

I’ve been called many things over the years, but “awkward” has never been one of them. I’ve spent years studying the art of how to win friends and influence people.My #1 StrengthsFinder has been Woo for as long as I can remember, and as a former high school prom queen, I can attest to being able to win popularity contests without a problem.

Recently, my character was called into question by someone who I had a very brief interaction with, and it made me pause and reflect on one of my life’s mantras. In a world where everyone has an opinion, it’s essential to discern whose feedback truly matters. What is this mantra, you ask? “Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice.” Let’s delve into why this maxim holds such profound wisdom.

Understanding the Source

When receiving criticism, it’s essential to evaluate the credibility and intentions of the critic. Not everyone who offers their opinion has your best interests at heart. Some may criticize out of jealousy, insecurity, or a desire to bring you down. Others may simply lack the knowledge or experience to provide meaningful feedback.

Consider the source: Would you seek advice from this person on matters important to you? Do they possess the expertise or understanding necessary to offer valuable insights? Does this person actually know who you are? If not, their criticism may hold little weight.

Guarding Your Mental Well-being

Taking criticism from unqualified or malicious sources can be detrimental to your mental well-being. Constantly absorbing negative feedback, especially from those who don’t genuinely care about your success, can erode your confidence and self-esteem. It’s crucial to protect your mental health by filtering out unwarranted criticism.

Instead, focus on seeking feedback from trusted mentors, colleagues, or friends whose opinions you value and respect. Constructive criticism from these sources can provide valuable perspectives for growth without causing unnecessary harm. If someone doesn’t actually know who you are, take their criticism with a grain of salt.

Cultivating a Growth Mindset

Criticism, when offered constructively, can be a powerful tool for self-improvement. However, it’s essential to approach it with a growth mindset. Embrace feedback as an opportunity to learn and grow rather than as a personal attack.

Normally, I’m not one to take things personally. Many years ago, I prayed to be “unoffendable” — another story for another time. But to be so misjudged by a stranger was very unsettling, and while “offense” may not be the right word, I was certainly taken aback by the feedback.

When evaluating criticism, ask yourself whether it aligns with your goals and values. Constructive feedback should challenge you to become better without undermining your sense of self-worth. If the criticism doesn’t serve this purpose, it may be best to discard it.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries around whose opinions you value is crucial for maintaining your sanity and self-confidence. Not everyone is entitled to weigh in on your life choices or criticize your actions. Learn to recognize when feedback is unhelpful or unwelcome and assertively communicate your boundaries.

By surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who genuinely want to see you succeed, you create an environment conducive to growth and self-improvement. Seek out mentors, coaches, and friends who uplift and inspire you, and prioritize their feedback above all else.

Conclusion

In a world inundated with opinions and criticism, it’s essential to exercise discernment in whose feedback you value. “Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t go to for advice” serves as a powerful reminder to prioritize the opinions of those who genuinely have your best interests at heart, and it’s a piece of advice I’ve carried with me for many years.

In a way, it’s good when life tests to see how you stand up to your own core beliefs, and I was reminded that by guarding your mental well-being, cultivating a growth mindset, and setting boundaries around whose feedback you accept, you can navigate criticism more effectively.

At the end of the day, I remember how wonderful my network is, and that the people that I surround myself with truly know me, uplift me, and inspire me. I was also reminded that constructive criticism, when offered with sincerity and respect, can be a catalyst for personal and professional growth, which is precisely what I intend to do with it.